Road Trip for the Guys!

Caleb, Scott, Pawpaw, and their friend Ricky got away to College Station for one of the first game weekends, and what would be Caleb's second football game ever! It was definitely the first that he'll be able to remember... the actual first one was at five months!

Caleb learned to whoop, yell, and Gig 'Em








as well as saw Varsity's horns off--Aaaay!


Thanks, Mr. Ricky for driving them safely! Thanks Pawpaw for the tickets!

Early end to Summer, AKA Kindergarten!

I can't believe that my oldest is now in Kindergarten! We started sooner than we expected, as a nearby school district (which is on a different schedule) permitted Caleb to transfer in. It maintains small classes, and that was a great alternative to the jam-packed (although decent) school in our neighborhood.

Caleb, you make me so proud! :)

I didn't think that I'd struggle on that first day! I'd taken him to a 5-day half-day pre-kinder program last year, and dropping him off was no problem at all. Surely this would be the same... right?

I accompanied him to the gym for the first day orientation, and I tagged along as his class went to the room. He was so grown up and observed everything. It didn't phase him that his name had not been called for his class and in lunch count later (late transfer-in, therefore, not everyone had the complete roster), but it phased me! I was fine until I got in my car. Then the silly thoughts flooded in: I'm leaving my sweet boy in the hands of people I don't know! (though they are excellent) He might get overlooked or left out because they don't have his name on all the lists! (I've taught before; I know better.) The growing up process is officially beginning, and there's no way I can slow it down! boo hoo hoo hoo!

Yes, I cried. I got over it, but I cried. Me! The rock, the calm one (ha to both!)...

He looked so grown up when I picked him up that afternoon.

On the fifth day of school, I came and sat with him at lunch. He was a pro at the lunch room! I came again four school days later. It was then that one of the cafeteria aides stopped me and said that he had a tough time every day at lunch. :( ...that he missed me and even cried some.

I realized quickly that lunch was the point that marked the longest time he'd been away from home during the day. We talked that afternoon, and I explained that instead of getting sad at lunch, he could realize that lunch meant it was almost time to see us again! It could be a happy signal, and he wouldn't have to be sad and miss me! He really liked that idea.

The next day, I picked him up and asked how the day (especially lunch) had gone. His answer? "Mama, I didn't miss you at all!" with a big smile.

Rats. I proceeded to tell him it was ok to miss me a little. :)

Heard at the McDonaldSpot

Anna, who has heard the routine of questions for Caleb after his days at school, started the question process on her own after Mother's Day Out one day.

Anna: Good day at school.
Mama: You had a good day at school today?
Anna: Yes. Made crapt.
(my pause...)
Mama: Did you make a craft today?
Anna: Yes. Made colors.

---------------------------------------------------------

Anna, what are you playing with by the refrigerator?

"Maggots." (You know, those things that stick to metal surfaces...)

---------------------------------------------------------
h-i-j-k, n-n-n-op....
tee ooo vee, duddle-you , ex
---------------------------------------------------------

What do you want from Taco Bueno?
"ont Poor-tee-uh" (want tortilla)
"Mmmm... Good portilla!"

****UPDATE -- Camera has been found****** Celebration has commenced

Still here, but exhausted!

Our church has moved out of its old building and into a new one across town. To accomplish this, the staff families and several volunteers worked many hours over the course of 6 days to take everything essential from the old, and get it and new items set up in the new by this past Sunday. That meant workdays from 9am to often 10pm for many of us. On top of that, I have misplaced my camera! :( very sad

I'll get back to updating asap.

Friday Funnies

You'll find yourself singing these cool Kid Songs all day!

Somebody's gotta be the comedian... (Heard at the McDonaldSpot)

We're never short on wit, jocular and jocose phrases, and humor around here. I'm usually responsible for the puns, and Scott handles the outright humor, but we have another player on the scene who is competing for the top spot!

Heard at the McDonaldSpot:

C: Mama, can I play the computer game again tonight?
Me: No, you can play it again tomorrow.
C: You mean today-tomorrow?
Me: No, I mean tomorrow.
C: You mean tonight-tomorrow?
Me: No, I mean tomorrow.
C: (without pause) Well, today is the tomorrow we were waiting for yesterday.


C, A, Mama and Daddy are enjoying some rarely occuring donuts for breakfast.

Me: (to C) Don't wipe your hands on your clothes (today, Spiderman costume).
Me: Your clothes aren't napkins.
C: What if I was Napkin Man?

Tag or Treat?

I've been tagged by Jodi, and I thought as a fall treat that I'd participate. :) Here we go:

Rules: Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people & posts their names, then goes to their blog & leaves them a comment letting them know that they have been tagged & asking them to read your blog. Let the person who tagged you know when you've answered the questions on your blog.

10 YEARS AGO I...
1. was getting ready to student teach Kinder and 4th grade
2. was counting down 7 months until our wedding.
3. was likely at an Aggie Football game during a great year for the Aggies. We had just defeated number 1 Nebraska at home.
4. was very involved serving at my church.
5. had my little sis and my friend Brooke as roomies.


5 THINGS ON TODAY'S TO DO LIST...
1. Go to the gym!
2. Catch up on laundry.
3. Spend a little time at the church to make sure things are ready for the weekend.
4. Clean a little.
5. Take Tigger and SpiderMan to Mimi and Pawpaw's to avoid local trick-or-treaters and have some fun in the country.


5 THINGS I WOULD DO IF I WERE A MILLIONAIRE...
1. Give to our church and to several other ministries I wish I could support.
2. Dump a ton into college funds for the kiddos
3. Pay off our mortgage. ick.
4. Replace our flooring.
5. Take a real vacation.


5 PLACES I HAVE LIVED...
1. Corpus Christi, TX
2. College Station, TX
3. Carrollton, TX
4. Dallas, TX
5. Ozark, Missouri


5 JOBS I HAVE HAD...
1. Tractor Driver/ Heavy Machinery operator / Farm Office Manager
2. I worked in the media center some in college – responsible for setting up microphones, projectors, etc. for professors. Boy, technology has changed in the last 13 years.
3. Taught school: 4th grade, ESL Pre-K (8 languages represented!?! Good thing I only had to understand English), Kindergarten
4. Preschool Ministry Assistant (Assistant Regional Manager -- NO, Assistant (to the) Regional Manager)
5. My fave…a Mommy!!!


Okay, now I’m tagging 5 people…Stacey, Tiffany, Brittany, Kristen, and Mandi

Countdown!

***UPDATE*** Found it on my doorstep tonight when I got home... WOOHOO! Whoop!



I've been waiting for some time for this one... When Scott asked me what I wanted for our anniversary, the answer was EASY. Crossway Publishing is releasing the study Bible version of its new translation of the Bible on October 15th! He pre-ordered a copy, and I can't wait for it to get here!

Why am I so excited?

I love to know the context of Scripture. It shows me exactly what God intended when He inspired what I am reading. I love diving into the context of Scripture by checking out maps, using study materials, understanding the culture and traditions of the time periods, etc. Doing so helps me properly apply Scripture to my own life and truly reminds me how God's Word is living and active.

This Study Bible (in addition to being one of the most closely accurate-to-the-original-language translations) is chock-full of the following:

• Over 200 full-color maps—created with the latest digital technology, satellite images, and archaeological research; printed in full color throughout the Bible.


• 200-plus charts—offering key insights and in-depth analysis in clear, concise outline form; located throughout the Bible.
• 80,000 cross-references—to encourage easy location of important words, passages, and biblical themes.
• 40 all-new illustrations—including full-color renderings and architectural diagrams of the Tabernacle, the Ark of the Covenant, Solomon’s temple, Herod’s temple, the city of Jerusalem in Jesus’ time and throughout the history of Israel, and many more.

Here is a sample image from Crossway's ESV SB website: (click to enlarge)


I respect the attitude of the Godly men and women who have worked hard to put this together. Here is the stated purpose from the Crossway site (Linked to above):

The goal and vision of the ESV Study Bible is, first and foremost, to honor the Lord—in terms of the excellence, beauty, and accuracy of its content and design; and in terms of helping people come to a deeper understanding of the Bible, of the Gospel, and of Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Crossway is a not-for-profit publishing ministry and all receipts from the ESV Study Bible go directly toward the support of this ministry goal around the world.

Makin' a splash

We spent a great summer evening over at the Lewters' new home. Lana Kate and Caleb and Anna had a blast in the little pool!

From Summer 2008

From Summer 2008

Screaming contests

From Summer 2008

More screams... all in good fun.

From Summer 2008

Ripe unto Harvest

Grain harvest down here in our neck of the woods begins in late June to early July and lasts about a month, depending on whether there's a storm in the Gulf headed our way. Anna got to take it all in for the first time this year!

From Summer 2008

From Summer 2008

"Cheese!"

From Summer 2008

"Beeeeg Tah-ters"

From Summer 2008

"Dey're Tumin'!"

From Summer 2008

After a fun ride

From Summer 2008

A blurry, bumpy picture in the combine's jumpseat at dusk.

From Summer 2008

Gorgeous sunset.

What color is dirt to you?

Silly question? I think not. When I think of dirt, a definite color (and even texture) comes to mind. Yes, I know that may be because as a farmer's daughter I am well acquainted with it. But I want to pose the question to you. It's not a philosophical or psychological one, but geographical.

When we lived in central-ish Texas for college, the dirt was definitely bright rust-ish colored. In Missouri, it was darker and a little more brown, but still rusty. I got to reacquaint myself with my home dirt this summer during harvest:

Funny how the little things can invoke special memories.

The BigMacs and small fries and a dollar deal

Mid July brought a visit from Nanny, Dandy, Drew, Debbie, Ashley, and Mandy! We had so much fun with them! We traveled to the beach, ate some Snoopy's, and had an all-around good time.


I also found a live sand dollar! That's right, a live one. I had never seen anything but portions of a sand dollar on the beach before. They're bleached white, and they're difficult to find whole. But as I was standing in the waves, I felt something in the sand under my feet. I trapped it and dug it up. Here's what I found:


Notice the dark green color and the hairy fringe (phalanges?) around the edge.

The underside was purple, and covered all over with waving phalanges! They tickled! (Was it trying to eat my hand???) Unfortunately, it didn't live long out of the salty water. Travis informed me that I could soak it in bleach and it would become white like the parts we so often find scattered along the beach. Cool, huh?

Early July Homecoming, or Veggies in Iraq

A couple of years ago, a guy walked into the church here for the first time. My mom just happened to be the one to greet him, and the next week she and Dad invited him to lunch after church. We just happened to be visiting from Springfield at the time, so we got to meet him, snazzy pinstriped slacks and all. :)

Fastforward to this past February. Lots of dinners at Mom and Dad's, game nights, a new-found friendship with my out-of-town sister, dating my sister, proposing to said sister, and lots and lots of flirting from Anna all comprise events that have happened over that time period. Then, Travis, being a civilian engineer for the Army, deployed voluntarily for the second time to Iraq. We knew that the months would be long for him and my sister until he returned in July. Then July came. We were so glad to see T back in the states!

Cheesy pose to show we were waiting anxiously, which was true, but the reality was that we spent a lot of time walking the kids around...

Licia wouldn't let us join her upstairs to meet him (why? Hmmmm... :) ), so we caught him as they came downstairs.

Caleb showed off his sign. Anna had been saying she was going to give T a "beeeeg hug." But she clammed up. I guess she had gone way too long without flirting with Travis.

But he hadn't gone alone! He had two stow-aways, mainly for Caleb and Anna's benefit. We were so excited that Travis took the time to bring a little piece of Iraq back for them. Check these Veggietales out. So brave...

Preparing for the long flight that would eventually end up in the Fertile Crescent, aka area of Ur, aka Babylon.

Hard at work and ready for anything...

Local wildlife.

Heavy Duty set of wheels...

Stylish transport, for sure.

Thanks, "Trav", for taking the time to do something special for our kiddos.

Also, it's T minus 7 days until you officially become Uncle Travis! We can't wait! :)

We're Baa-ack

We made it home last night around 10:45 after a stop in Austin for some Freebirds World Burritos. Mmmm. Even Caleb and Anna love the place! The running from Ike was a much needed personal retreat, and we're immensely thankful that Corpus was spared, especially since we were the target for quite some time in the forecasts. Our prayers go out to those in the Houston area who were affected.

For now, it's back to cleaning, de-boarding the windows (is that a word?), back to school, and back to the everyday grind. I'll get some posts up soon, I hope! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers while we traveled!

Ike's following us?

^^Update 3^^ We tried to make it as far as we could, and stopped at 2 am in Georgetown (N of Austin) for a four hour "nap" at a hotel and a continental breakfast. We hit the road again at 8 am. Currently, I'm "tethering" (see update 2) and we're about 15 minutes outside of our evac destination. Yea! The kids are doing great, and we just found out that our city back home just issued a mandatory evac order, even though we're not in the bulls-eye anymore. Just goes to show how wide the storm's effects will be... I may post again soon. Low battery.


<*UPDATE 2*> We packed up and left our home at 6:30 pm. Before we got on the highway, we checked in with my cousin who lives in town. They were finished boarding up but hadn't left yet. We decided to stay in town longer and help them get out of town sooner. Here's why: He and his wife have five kids. They're all under the age of 4. They have a newly-turned 4 yr old girl, a 2 yr old boy, and 2 month old TRIPLETS! They hadn't eaten supper yet, and neither had we, so we rustled up some Chick fil A and moseyed on over to help out. I can't imagine how long it would have taken for them to ready the house, pack, feed the older kids and themselves, feed the babies, and load the car without help!!! We got everything loaded and done by 9:30 and after dropping their other vehicle off elsewhere, we were on the road by 10. Yippee!! Looks like we'll be stopping somewhere overnight instead of powering through to North TX overnight. Thanks to a cool thing called "tethering" (connecting to the internet using your bluetooth phone as a modem), I'm updating from the road. We're 57 mi. south of San Antonio. Pray we don't get too sleepy. Traffic's light. Kids are sleeping. TTFN.






**UPDATE** I'll post updates by editing this single post: It's Wed. afternoon, and local schools have closed for the next two days at least. We've secured the church building as best as we could. Our home is boarded up thanks to the caravan of staff guys who've made the rounds. Now, I'm double-checking important paperwork that'll travel with us, and we're collecting several days' worth of clothing. We're off to Nanny and Dandy's tonight: seven hours plus depending on how packed the roads are (and we've heard they already are). Please pray for safe travels and for minimal property damage for all those involved!

The good news for our area is that the storm seems to be trending a little north of us. Nobody wants to be on the northeast side of the hurricane. However, it could always come straight over us or even south of us... no forecast is certain. The bad news is that they're thinking it'll be a cat 4 when it hits! That could mean around a 16ft. initial storm surge, winds between 131 and 155 mph and potentially a foot of rain in 4 hours!!! See the updated graphic below:






(previous update)
I still have more posting to do to catch you all up on what's going on at the McDonaldspot, but that'll have to wait for now. It's Ike's fault. He's got his eye on us, as we do on him, so we're doing laundry, collecting important paperwork and pictures, and preparing in case he comes for our area. I'll keep you posted here and on Facebook as to whether we actually have to evacuate on Wed. night or Thurs. morning, but for now, we appreciate your prayers! :)

McNuggets (9/1)

Just in time for Labor Day Grilling
(That is, if you're not on the Gulf Coast) See a unique way to clean your grill without having to use much elbow grease!

Remodeling Time
Check out this CS Lewis illustration about how it is that having a relationship with Christ is not what we expect... and yet is so much better.

Team Hoyt
Whether you've never seen it or have seen it 20 times, it's a moving depiction of a father's love and devotion.

No pockets?
Lots of us love Reef flip flops down here in Texas, but you have to check these out! I wonder if they really work well...

They chose life
I read this when it was posted back in early May. Little did I know that we'd get to know the mom profiled in a much more public way this past week. Also, I thought this photo below was a neat perspective on a historic moment...

only the second woman to be selected as a potential VP, and one who actually has a pretty decent chance of being elected. {Superficial note: Cute shoes!}

side note: Here's a picture prior to an equally timely moment from the Democratic National Convention... One that is interesting, I think, when comparing the I'd-rather-look-powerful-than-feminine image portrayed by their female candidate to the comfortable-looking-feminine image portrayed by the other candidate mentioned above. (Subtle, I know, but still there...)
{Superficial note: When you find a good pantsuit you like, get it in several different colors?}

*nine*

Here I am, two months behind on posting, but I couldn't pass up the momentous occasion that happened on our road trip:

Our 9 year anniversary!

Scott and I got to celebrate by spending the day in Tyler while Nanny and Dandy kept the kids. (This was prior to heading to Missouri). We got to eat good Mexican food at Mercados, and oddly enough, we went shopping so I could have something to wear for the Missouri wedding. How patient of Scott to (suggest that we) spend our time away doing one of the things he least enjoys! I'm grateful! :)

I thank the Lord always for His provision of a husband who has devoted his life to glorify God. He does so in the way he leads our family, the way he parents our kiddos, the way he loves me, and the way he is teachable when the Lord is working on an area of his life. I'm grateful that the Lord is daily shaping us for ministry. I'm looking forward to the many years ahead in which I'm privileged to serve alongside, support, and show love to Scott!

Here are some pre-1999 old-school pics to bring back some memories...

Road-trippin'

So, back to my post train of thought (catching you up to the present)...

We took a road trip mid-June (beginning with Sea World, then proceeding to North Texas, followed by Springfield, Missouri). The eight hour rides to each of the stops after Sea World were long, but the kids did so well.

We visited with Nanny, Dandy, Ashley, Mandi, Uncle Drew, and Aunt Debbie for a few days. Caleb loved the swimming pool, air hockey, Chuck E. Cheese, time with Webkinz and Mandi simultaneously, and his first experience with a Nintendo DS (uh-oh!). Anna loved clinging to my neck in the pool, but wanted to go-it on her own (not possible in the 3 ft. pool). She also loved to lead oldest cousin Ashley all over Nanny's house in circuitous fashion. We were all excited for her, as she had a very successful first experience sleeping in her own non-crib bed/air mattress. As a result, we went ahead and set up a real bed in her room when we got back home!

Following our time there, we trekked on up to Springfield, MO, for the wedding of some friends. We stayed with dear friend "Beppy"/Betsy. Scott had the privilege of being one of two Best Men in the wedding, and I must say he "cleans up" nicely!

We also got to see a few of our many other dear friends. Some of them have moved to Kentucky, others to Iowa, some to Dallas, and others are serving faithfully in the Ozarks. It was a sweet time, and we're grateful for Betsy's hospitality, the generosity of Barron and Betsy to watch our kiddos during the wedding and rehearsal, and for being able to spend time with friends. Our time there was short, but special.

'Tis that time again...

Are you enjoying the Olympics like we are this year? I can't remember a year that I've enjoyed it more! I do think that the opening ceremonies were spectacular despite the faked fireworks and the fake singer. (I'll save my thoughts on the reason for the fake singer for another time.)

I loved watching the men's 4x100 swimming relay the other night... such persistence and what a way to finish strong!

I also look forward to one particular commercial, which I think rivals many Super Bowl creations. Enjoy!




Oh, and I think it's hilarious that in this "one-up" competition between basketball stars LeBron James and Yao Ming, that a marching band, Santa Claus, and an old-school Caddy with a cattle horn hood ornament end up on the American side. (The buffaloes--bulls?-- and pandas are funny too!)

Oh yes he did! *snap snap*

Evidently there was a multitude of comments on the original location from my last post about what to do about sharing a bad report about someone with others. One of the authors posted this response:

I'm struck that many commenters focus on identifying the exceptions, rather than camping out on the major emphasis of our short article—everything that comes from our mouths (and computers) should be truly constructive to any who hear or read. We should actively intend good, seeking to “give grace to those who hear.” That takes thought about one's motives, tone, framing, balance of emphases.

There are times to name what's wrong and to name names. Both Tim and I do that in our writing and teaching, and the article mentions in passing the call to such candor. I appreciate efforts of commenters to identify exceptions and nuances, when and how to make someone else’s apparent wrongs more widely known. Thoughtful work on that topic will break new ground, applying the call to “speak truth in love” into an instant-information context where all errors, blunders, sins, failings, and mere clumsiness are potentially available for public scorn. What does it mean to forebear each other in such a world? What does it mean to cover sins in mercy (not cover-up, but true covering in mercy), to allow others to find care and restoration in their own interpersonal context, rather than attempting to humiliate them before the whole world? What does it mean to express the sort of communal tenderness that Dietrich Bonhoeffer captures so well in Life Together—a communal life that includes reproof as a form of love?

But the leading edge of our argument is to place checks on the tendency we all have to snide, sneering, self-righteous, gossipy, malicious words. Any growth we can make in the direction of Ephesians 4:29 will make life much more joyous for all, and bring much glory to our God. And even criticisms I make become more hearable when I the critic am not posturing, but actually care about others. When I don’t care, my bad attitude and superiority becomes my actual message. Love is patient, love is kind . . . and then love is candid. I hope readers might even go back and give our article a second reading.

Blessings,

David Powlison

Oh no he didn't! *snap*

Exactly a week ago, I came across (through a string of random links) a blog argument. It was between 4 Christian gentlemen (pastors/professors) who would likely be well known in Christian circles here in the U.S. The argument began over a planned friendly debate concerning two viewpoints on an area of belief about God. The discussion disintegrated into hurtful and harsh comments on personal email that made its way to public blogs. I won't link to the blog that I read, so as not to pass it on, but I will tell you I was greatly dismayed and ashamed as I witnessed believers attacking other believers. I recognize that any sinner has the propensity to act this way, but it was a horrible witness on both sides. Resolution of the issue in a Godly way was nowhere to be seen, and hasty judgments were everywhere. The real reason for disagreement had become lost. I didn't know the people involved personally, but my heart was heavy; I found myself crying out, "There's got to be a Biblical way to resolve such a disagreement without harming the entire Body of Christ (the Church--as a whole) in the process!"

I was reminded of many times in the past that I've experienced wrong-doing, with a former teaching situation, with friends, with ministry, to people I didn't know very well, and toward ones I've loved. Then today, in God's providence, I came across an article that addresses the problem (and may have been aimed specifically at the situation above). It was a "yeah, that's the right way"/"ouch" discovery on my part. I found it particularly helpful and challenging. May I share it with you?

(be patient... the article may look long, but it's a quick read)

I challenge you to read it from 3 perspectives: As one who sees a problem with someone that you feel you need to address, as one who has been confronted, and as an observer whose friend has confronted another/been the confrontee.

Should You Pass on Bad Reports?
by Tim Keller & David Powlison


One obvious genius of the internet is that it’s “viral.” Information explodes to the whole world. The old neighborhood grapevine and the postal service seem like ox-carts in a speed-of-light universe. (Do twenty-somethings even know what those antiquities once were? In the old days, people had to talk to each other or stick a stamp on an envelope.) Instantaneous transmission produces some wonderfully good things. Truth, like joy, is infectious. A great idea feeds into a million inboxes. But it also produces some disastrous evils. Lies, rumors, and disinformation travel just as far and just as fast.

So what should you do when you hear “bad reports” about a person or church or ministry? We want to offer a few thoughts on how to remain constructive. To paraphrase Ephesians 4:29, “Let no unwholesome words come out of your computer, but only what is constructive, in order to meet the need of the moment, that what you communicate will give grace to everyone who ever reads it.” That Greek word translated “unwholesome” is sapros. It means something that is inedible, either devoid of nutritional value or rotten and even poisonous. It applies to thorny briars or to fish or fruit that’s gone bad. At best, it’s of no benefit to anyone. At worst, it’s sickening and destructive. Consider three things in how to stay constructive.

What Does James Say about Passing Along Bad Reports?

Humble yourselves before the Lord.
Brothers, don’t slander or attack one
another.
(James 4:10-11)

The verb “slander” simply means to “speak against” (Gk. kata-lalein). It is not necessarily a false report, just an “against-report.” The intent is to belittle another. To pour out contempt. To mock. To hurt. To harm. To destroy. To rejoice in purported evil. This can’t mean simple disagreement with ideas—that would mean that we could never have a debate over a point. This isn’t respectful disagreement with ideas. James warns against attacking a person’s motives and character, so that the listeners’ respect and love for the person is undermined. “As the north wind brings rain, so slander brings angry looks” (Prov. 25:23). Everybody gets upset at somebody else: slanderer, slanderee, slander-hearer.

The link of slander to pride in James 4:10 shows that slander is not the humble evaluation of error or fault, which we must constantly be doing. Rather, in slander the speaker speaks as if he never would do the same thing himself. It acts self-righteous and superior toward one’s obviously idiotic inferiors. Non-slanderous evaluation is fair-minded, constructive, gentle, guarded, and always demonstrates that speakers sense how much they share the same frailty, humanity, and sinful nature with the one being criticized. It shows a profound awareness of your own sin. It is never “against-speaking.”

James 5:9 adds a nuance: "Don’t grumble against one another." Literally, it means don’t moan and groan and roll your eyes. This refers to a kind of against-speaking that is not as specific as a focused slander or attack. It hints at others flaws, not only with words, but by body language and tone. In print, such attitudes are communicated by innuendo, guilt by association, sneering, pejorative vocabulary. In person, it means shaking your head, rolling your eyes, and re-enforcing the erosion of love and respect for someone else. For example, “You know how they do things around here. Yadda, yadda. What do you expect?” Such a “groan” accomplishes the same thing as outright slander. It brings “angry looks” to all concerned. Passing on negative stuff always undermines love and respect. It’s never nourishing, never constructive, never timely, never grace-giving.

What Does the Book of Proverbs Say about Receiving Bad Reports?

He who covers over an offense promotes love,
but whoever repeats the matter
separates close friends.
(Proverbs 17:9)

The first thing to do when hearing or seeing something negative is to seek to “cover” the offense rather than speak about it to others. That is, rather than let a bad report “pass in” to your heart as truth, and then get “passed along” to others, you should seek to keep the matter from destroying your love and regard for a person. How?

Start by remembering your own sinfulness. "All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord" (Prov. 16:2). To know this automatically keeps you from being too sure of your position and of speaking too strongly against people that you hear about or people on the other side of a conflict. You intuitively realize that you may not be seeing things right. Your motives are never as pure as you think they are. To know this acts to keep you from being too sure of the facts, too sure of your position, and of speaking too quickly and too negatively about other people. Knowing your own sinfulness helps you not make snap judgments that take what you hear too seriously.

When you remember your sinfulness, remember God’s mercies. "Love covers all offenses" (Prov. 10:12). The God who is love has covered all your offenses. He knows everything about you (and the whole story about that other person). He has chosen to forgive you, and life-saving mercy cost Jesus his life. He could write you up with a 100% True Bad Report, but he has chosen to bury your sins in the depths of the ocean. That makes the life and death difference. If your sins are not buried in the ocean of his mercy, then you will be justly exposed and will justly perish. But when you’ve known mercy, then even when you hear report of grievous evil, an instinct toward mercy should arise within you. To savor the tasty morsels of gossip and bad reports is very different from grieving, caring, and wishing nothing less than the mercies of Christ upon all involved. And most bad reports are much more trivial. They are the stuff of busybodies and gossips going “tut-tut-tut.”

Then remember that there is always another side. "The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him" (Prov. 18:17). You never have all the facts. And you never have all the facts you need all at once. You are never in a position to see the whole picture, and therefore when you hear the first report, you should assume you have far too little information to draw an immediate conclusion. What you’ve heard from someone else is only “hear-say” evidence. It has no standing or validity unless it is confirmed in other ways.

So when you hear a negative report about another, you must keep it from passing into your heart as though it were true. If you pass judgment based on hear-say, you are a fool. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t check out the facts. Go to the person. Hear other witnesses. If you’re far away from the scene, wait for more of the story to come out. Suspend judgment. Don’t get panicked or stampeded by mob-psychology and rumors. Be content not to know many things. You don’t need to have an opinion about everything and everyone.

Third, what should you do if you are close enough to the situation to be involved AND you think the injustice or matter is too great or grievous for you to ignore? For starters, notice that you only really need to know something if it touches your sphere of life and relationships. In that case, you should do what will help you to express God’s call upon you to speak Ephesians 4:29 words of wise love.

In Derek Kidner’s commentary on Prov. 25:7–10, he writes that when you think someone has done wrong you should remember, “One seldom knows the full facts (v.8) and one’s motives in spreading a story are seldom as pure as one pretends (v.10). To run to the law or to the neighbors is usually to run away from the duty of personal relationship.” See Christ’s clinching comment in Matthew 18:15: "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." In short, if you feel the problem is too great and you can’t keep it from destroying your regard for the person, you must go personally before you go to anyone else.

When Should You Go?

Galatians 6:1 says we are to go when a person is caught in a trespass. That means there should be some kind of "pattern" or the unmistakable exposure of a wrong. Don’t go the first time you hear a bad report about someone doing wrong. As we said above, there’s another side to most stories, and our motives are never totally pure when we get indignant. Go if the person seems caught—that is, trapped or stuck in a habit pattern of wrong behavior or falsehood.

How Should You Go?

Galatians 6:1 says we are to restore gently and in humility, bearing all the fruit of the Spirit. Beware of your own tendencies to be tempted—perhaps to the same sin, perhaps to reactive sins of self-righteousness or judgmentalism, perhaps to avoidance sins of cover-up and pretending. Galatians 6:2 goes on to say that we actually fulfill the law of Christ by bearing each other’s burdens. We become nothing less than lesser redeemers in the pattern of our Great Redeemer. Jesus in Matthew 18:15ff says we should also go persistently, and not give up in the process. Patience is one fruit of the Spirit because problems don’t always clear up quickly. There is a progression in efforts to get to the bottom of a bad report, to confirm the facts, and to work at bringing restoration.

Who Should Go?

Galatians 6 says you—plural—who are spiritual should go to the straying one. That both defines how you should go and it calls for multiple people to get involved. Similarly Matthew 18:15ff says to bring in other people if matters don’t resolve one to one. The right kind of checking out a bad report is always done in person and often will be done by involving multiple wise persons.

Why Should You Go?

In both Galatians 6 and Matthew 18 the goal is to restore the person and to re-establish sin-broken relationships. You are working to restore people both to God and to others.

Conclusion

In summary, from the Old Testament to the New Testament, the principle is this. If you hear bad reports about other Christians you must either cover it with love or go to them personally before speaking of it to any others.

• The first thing to do is to simply suspend judgment. Don’t pass on bad reports.
• The second thing to do is “cover” it in love, reminding yourself that you don’t know all about the heart of the person who may have done evil—and you know your own frailty. Don’t allow bad reports to pass into your own heart.
• The final thing to do is go and speak to them personally.

What you should never do is rush to judgment, or withdraw from loving another, or pass on the negative report to others. This is challenge enough when you’re dealing with the local grapevine or slow-moving postal service. In a world of instant world-wide communication of information it’s an even bigger challenge, because you can do bigger damage more quickly.

Whether the bad report offers true information, or partial information, or disinformation, or false information—it is even more important that you exercise great discretion, and that you take pains to maximize boots-on-the-ground interpersonal relationships.

I hope this Biblical perspective is helpful to you like it was to me! I love that there is an Answer as to how to address gossip and reconcile true issues of wrong-doing (without simply ignoring the wrong-doing). It involves humility on both sides. I admit I've failed in how I've responded to multiple issues. It helps me to be reminded of what John Newton said (a former slave trader who wrote the hymn Amazing Grace after having his life changed by Christ):

“My memory is nearly gone, but I remember two things: That I am a great sinner and that Christ is a great Savior.”

—John Newton, quoted in Jonathan Aitken, John Newton: From Disgrace to Amazing Grace (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2007), 347

McNuggets (7/27)

Check out these links I've stumbled across...

Plan a money-free weekend
Lifehacker brought us a link to a great article on things to do when you plan a money-free weekend. Gas prices may be going down, but I imagine we all could use this idea.

Veep Watch: Bobby Jindal
As the election season progresses, be watching for potential VP candidates. Here's a spotlight on Bobby Jindal of Louisiana and also his religious beliefs.

Does Archaeology match up with Biblical Accounts?
Dr. Leen Ritmeyer was recently interviewed on his discoveries about Calvary and the tomb of Christ. This guy knows his stuff!

A Father for the Fatherless?
The subject of adoption is everywhere I look lately. I have friends who are adopting, friends who are adopted, and my google reader subscriptions even seem to be developing an adoption mindset. How does that affect me? You? Our relationship to God? Check out the link above, this article, this friend's page, and this friend's page. (How's that for a 4-piece McNugget bonus?)

SeaWorld

To begin our vacation through North Texas and Missouri, we met up with the Haiglers, Hills, and Burnetts, and took Caleb and Anna on their first trip to Sea World!



Caleb got a chance to touch and feed the dolphins there!
(Anna fell asleep)